The good, the bad...

Its only Thursday and it's already been one of those weeks.. 

I had hoped to get on the scale yesterday and wanted to see atleast a 1 lb drop in weight, as that would have put me at my 5% loss, but I got on the scale and was in shock as she recorded a 6.4 lb loss!  Every week I am amazed at how well this is working for me..  In 6 weeks, I have now dropped 23.8 pounds..  WOW   My brain still thinks I cant do this, suprisingly.. but I know myself and I have yet to believe in being skinny. 

I feel better, my pants are looser (heck I seriously can walk right out of my wranglers now, they will fall off my butt within a 40 ft walking distance, trust me I tried it!  Jeans around my ankles walking from the barn to the back door)  lol  My girl jeans are looser, although they are not as apt to fall off my tooshy since they are built different.  I feel like my shirts are looser and I can suck in my tummy while sitting and it dissappears under my boobs..  LOL

I have little goals here and there for myself and hope to achieve them..  see, still not ready to say WILL Achieve..  I am SOOO looking forward to the day I can get on a horse from the ground w/o the aid of a person or stump or stool helping me out..  Not sure if I mentioned but when that happens, I'm booking a weeklong vacation at a dude ranch of some sort.. Its been on my bucket list for a very long time and I think that is a great way to celebrate something I havent been able to do in a very long time.

Unfortunately life is not all about roses and rainbows and thats how the rest of my week has been.  It all stems around Willie, I finally got him to the vet for a lameness exam and after temporary nerve blocks in his feet to determine it was in his feet, and then xrays to determine the cause of him limping, I can now say with certainty that I was right..  But this is NOT NOT NOT a time I wanted to be right..  Willie is Navicular!!  :(

You never want to here that word uttered when it relates to your horse.. "It most commonly describes an inflammation or degeneration of the navicular bone and its surrounding tissues."  There is no cure, there are things you can to do help the horse along, but everything is temporary and eventually the horse will deteriorate and get to the point of needing to be put down.  Willie could likely have many rideable years in him still, with some corrective shoeing, maybe some nerve blocking and supplements and/or drugs.. but he wont have it with me.  Between buying, training and diagnosing him, I have $5,000 wrapped up in him and I'm sick about that because I basically am going to have to give him away...    Pooooffff!  Shannon thinks she might be able to help me find a "buyer" for him, but I'm not holding my breath, who would buy a horse with this problem.. 

So its been a couple days of severe crying sessions and depression.  Every time I talk on the phone with a friend about it, I start to cry, I just cant help it.  We have lost 2 horses in 2 months.. WTF is happening in my life right now.  What have I done to deserve this, seriously...    Derek and I are taking a step back, regrouping and trying to figure out what to do next.  Neither one of us is willing or even wants to spend ANY money on buying horses right now.. although neither of us wants to give up riding.  I just cant see spending thousands of dollars after having lost over $10,000 in value on the 2 horses we had.  Thats a pretty tough pill to swallow. 

My shoers are great and they have a client with a couple mares that they want us to go meet..so we are going to Cle Elum on Saturday to meet these horses and see if we like them.  The gal is willing to do a lease, she knows our situation and is willing to work with us and just might be willing to part with 2 of her horses.  So although neither of us is jumping into this with ANY expectations, I cant blow her off any longer and I TRUST my shoers completely and they wouldnt steer me wrong..