frustration continues...

I dont have a picture of horse # 3 that Rachel & I went to look at for Derek, the ad was pulled offline before I could copy it..

So this horse was about 9-10yrs old, a paint gelding, about the size of Oakley.  The reason for selling the horse, raised a little flag for me but I trusted and we hauled Edgar down south to Orting, to go try out this horse and take him out on a trail ride.  The guy said he bought the horse 5 months ago for friends to ride, to have an extra horse, but then realized his friends were not really too interested and decided to sell.  Sounds a tiny bit fishy, but I trusted.

So we get to his home, watch him do a lot of ground work, I did some ground work, very responsive, very nice manners, laid back easy going horse... and cute!  :)   So he then got on and did a lot of trotting and some loping around.. didnt seem like the horse was willing to walk much, but it also seemed like the guy didnt want the horse to walk and kept him moving.  He then stopped him and said "if the horse is going to buck, this is when they will do it" and then from the stand still, he basically stuck his legs out as far as he could, leaned forward and kicked as hard as he could, pushing the horse into a lope.. Well sure as shit that horse bolted forward a few strides at the lope then proceeded to buck the guy off!!  Well I didnt blame the horse too much, wasnt impressed that he bucked, but the guy about scared the shit out of that horse.  He didnt just come off either, he did a complete summersault in the air, landed flat on his back!  But he got back on and asked the horse to lope off a number of times and there was no other buck, and the horse didnt appear to want to buck either. 

I was not 100% sold on this horse, and that was before the bucking even happened.. I felt he was not as quiet and laid back as we would want, but its hard to know in a round-pen environment and Rachel wanted to get out for the trailride still, so we loaded him up and headed out to Mud Mountain Dam in Enumclaw to ride.  He was pretty good!  Had some issues with being left behind when we tried that scenario with him, but nothing too major.  He was definately a leader, he wanted to move out and be in front, was willing to cross anything and go anywhere directed.  At this point again, i'm still feeling like he's not quite what we want.  Although a very good trail horse, he just didnt do it for me.  Well the seller likes to run/lope on the trails, so he kept encouraging Rachel to get Chico(horse) into a lope and they did so a few times.

We get out to an opening, they decide to lope again and out of the blue, Chico lets out a big 'ole buck and off comes Rachel, landing on her back with a VERY badly rope-burned left hand!  She is laughing, so I am laughing..  Chico runs off and catches up to Ryan (owner) and she gets back on.  Persistant my damn friend is, so shortly after that, she and Ryan take off loping again, this time up a big gravel hill.  In my head I'm thinking.. this chick is nuts!  After that round of loping, they decide to lope again, going uphill on that same gravel road and this time Chico decided to let loose once again, this time I knew Rachel hit the ground much harder.  The burns she had just incured 15 minutes earlier, well they now were torn open!

She got back on and we told the guy, you need to lope lope lope this horse and then re-list him in a month or so when he is over that crap and list him for more than he was previously asking.  Chico is a GREAT trail horse, if he can get over bucking. 

Today I went online and randomly decided to google search the guys phone #.  I wanted to see if I could find his full name so I could see if he was on FB so I could see if he had a FB picture of this horse, so I could post it on my blog..  Whew.. that's a lot of  "so I could..."   Well in searching for his name, what I really discovered is 3 other ads for horses for sale by this guy...  The ads were expired, so the links did not take me anywhere that provided a date, but regardless I now realized this guy was a liar!  I had been defending him online and to friends and I was immediately PISSED OFF and ANGRY that this MF*er duped me. 

I sent Rachel a text to tell her about this asshole and she proceeds to tell me just how bad off she really is.. she was going to hide it from me, but came clean..  So here it is 11:45pm on Sunday night, I'm a lot angry and I decided this seller needed to hear from me; here's my email to him (which was cc'd to Rachel as well)

Hi Ryan..

I wasn't going to send an email, but really feel that maybe I should. Even after the bad ride we had yesterday on Chico, I was giving you the benefit of the doubt about what happened.. I believed what you were telling me about Chico.

Although a few things did raise little flags for me about the information you provided; however, I trusted. When you said you bought Chico for friends to ride, but then 5 months later decided to sell because they no longer were interested, that raised flags for me.. That didn't seem logical to me, but again, I trusted.

There are 2 things I want to say about this whole thing.

1) I went online today and decided to put your phone # into google search, I was curious if you were listing this horse anywhere else online. And I found 4 horses you've listed for sale in the online history (although there are no dates since the ads have expired) ! Chico, a 13yr Arab, a QH Mare and a 16h Appy Gelding. What a shock that was to find.. to discover the person I thought was being up front with me, is actually a horse-trader.. most likely buying them cheap and selling them for a profit.

2) I called my friend to check on her today and I want you to know she spent 3 hours in the ER today. She started slurring her words and was seeing spots in her vision, so her children took her to the hospital.. She has a severe head injury/concussion, her ankle that she broke 2 months ago is now bigger than it was when she originally broke it, her left hand is useless (she uses her hands daily to make a living) and is covered in bruises all over.

We know the risks involved with riding horses, we get that. BUT you encouraged her to lope Chico on numerous occassions, 2 of which resulted in her getting bucked off. We TRUSTED that you knew this horse WELL ENOUGH to know that he would NOT do that! You didn't seem to show much concern when she was bucked off or emotion about it.

We then find out as we are riding back up the rest of the road to the trailers, that you've only ridden that horse 10 times in the 5 months you've had him and that he sat for 2 years.. You did tell me about the 2 years of him not being ridden, but you did NOT tell me you only put 10 rides on him.

So now I'm pissed. My friend was BADLY injured/hurt by your horse, BECAUSE YOU MISLED ME! I feel Duped and now know I was lied to and I think you need to understand the DANGER you put people in when you indicate what a great trail horse this is, then highly encourage loping and running on the trail. I am so angry you put myself and my friend in such a bad position, for a few bucks!!!!

We felt we were trying to help you out, give some advice about what that horse needs and what we get in return is an ER Bill, a hand so injured she's not sure she can go to work for the next day or two and an ankle she is unable to walk on, again preventing her from working for possibly the next few days. I'm angry that I was lied to and it cost my friend quit badly, physically & financially.

If you are going to buy horses cheap and sell them for profit, I have no problem with that, but you need to find a way to be a lot more educated about the horse you are selling and that horse's limitations because this time it cost someone dearly and it could have been prevented.. That horse was NOT ready to be loped freely and you SHOULD have known that! I'm not sure how to end this email, I'm just so disgusted after finding your selling history online and then minutes later find out how bad off Rachel is. I really feel you should take some of the financial responsibility here..

Piper    

Well I think that about sums it up!!  I think I'll end this blog post with this letter as well...

Where's my punching bag.

Tonight is one of those evenings where I dont know what to say, how to feel, what to do..  I want to scream, but that seems drastic, I want to cry, but that seems irrational, I want to sleep but how's that going to help..  I'm struggling to think clearly right now so I just need to get off to bed and hope I wake up feeling a bit more refreshed.

What's all the frustration and fuss about.. well I spoke too soon and Willie is still limping!  :(  I am so angry and incredibly frustrated that I can hardly function or even think straight.  I think the only logical option is to get him in to a vet, I just had really hoped to escape the $300-$500 bill that will surely accompany my vet visit.  But I just dont see any other options, this has been going on now for 3 months and although the pads have helped, they have not fixed the underlying issue, clearly..

So give me a day to "freak the F**" out because I'm close to panicking at this point and again back to thinking worst case scenario.  My irrational brain right now is telling me to ditch the horse, hold off on buying another, give us a year off w/o horses and come back to it in a year with lighter bodies and clearer brains...  I'm not seeing any of that as a downfall at this point, which tells me I really need to get to bed cuz I'm not thinking straight..

Spring has sprung..

Spring is here, the weather is changing, the air feels clean..  time to start getting motivated, get outside and get some shit done!  Easier said than done...  right!

We (okay Derek) almost has the horse trailer done and ready to paint, the goal is to get it painted this weekend.. I think I've said that the past couple weekends, but Derek has been working a lot of hours at his "paid" job so I cant push too hard..  :)

We have not gone out to see any horses, probably this weekend Rachel and I will go look at one.  It can be an overwhelming, frustrating process, so I think my friend and I have come up with a new way to try to approach this, so as to not take up and waste so much of Derek's free time with the crap that tends to be, when we get out to see the horse in person. 

On a positive horse note, I "think" we have hopefully found the solution to Willie's limping problem..  He's a pansy!  Yes, I've known for a while my horse has thin skin, is a little more sensitive.. but now that has migrated down to his feet too, so the shoers have put pads on his front feet and magically, he seems to not be limping anymore.  I am not 100% convinced yet, will have to wait and see how he does with regular work and see if he stays sound, but so far so good and its been almost 2 weeks!  I've lunged him once and he appeared sound, I rode him for 2 hours around the neighborhood, he felt sound.. He will get lunged and ridden again tonight, so we will see.. my fingers are crossed.  I was really starting to worry and was picturing worst case scenario with him..  3 months is a long time for a horse to be limping!!  So I am anxious, and excited about getting him out to the arena tonight.. 

And on an even more positive note than that, I am doing GREAT with my WW!  Every week I feel like I am not going to have a good weigh in, I approach the scale with worry and anxiety.. and every time I suprise myself with continued weight loss..  I have lost 17.4 pounds in 5 weeks...  I feel some of the loss in my waistline.. pants are not as tight!  :)  I will keep moving forward, learning as I go how to eat better, reprogramming my brain after 40 years of bad habits and bad-programming!   I am still doubtful in my head that I can do it, but the reality is that I am already doing it... so my doubt comes from the fact that I cannot actually picture myself skinny, cannot see myself being able to get on my horse w/o the help of a rock or stump or stool, cannot picture myself ever being proud of how I look, or that I will get to someday shop at regular clothing stores.. it all seems like an un-attainable fantasy!  My hope is that eventually my brain will flip a switch and start telling itself that this is do-able.  I dont know what other proof is needed to flip that switch, but 17lbs is not enough to convince myself.  I have set a goal to reach by my 40th birthday in 7 months, I hope I dont dissappoint.. 

Thanks !!

Thanks so much Derek for all your hard work at your job...  Just wanted to recognize how much you have been working and that I appreciate it..  :)

Due to all this work he's been doing, we havent had a lot of time together, so any time he has off on the weekends, its been nice spending time together.  Saturday we spent the day with our retriever club, had a board meeting in the morning, then a training day that lasted til almost 4, then another meeting after that to plan for a big upcoming event we are helping host.  It was a beautiful day!!!  And although Cooper didnt run great, he didnt run too bad either.  He's still balking at picking up the birds (yes yes, same story every time)...    Met some new folks and had a great day.

Sunday we drove down to Winlock WA (2.5hr drive) to look at Marshall

We were very excited to go see him, he seemed to have just what we were looking for and upon arrival he was basically everything she had described; however, he had (what I would call) a bad club foot.  The gal had mentioned it in passing upon my initial inquiry, but when I saw it in person, felt it was not really a minor issue but one that would concern me and how long he would stay sound.  After reading online, sounds like many horses do just fine, but I dont want to take that chance.  Lesson learned:  If seller says they have a club foot, ask for a picture up front before wasting time driving down!  He was a nice horse though, but I guess that means a better one is still to come.  

We were going to go look at another horse after Marshall, but the gal sent a text that he had sold that morning.  We'll see what we can conjure up this week to go look at over the coming weekend...  ;)

WW

My good friend Rachel had started to bring up 2 words that I didnt want to hear..  Weight Watchers!  She had tried it in the past and felt she needed to start up again, really wanting me to do it with her.  Well its quite obvious its a much needed path for me at this point, but I wasnt really feeling it...  But I agreed!  Damn Peer Pressure.

When we walked into that first meeting, my heart was pounding, my nerves were awake, my blood was anxious..  By the end of the meeting, I was skeptical.  But I paid my dues and jumped in with 2 feet, I knew there was no getting out of it at this point, not with Rachel as my WW's Buddy!  Took me a few days to get settled into the new routine, learning how to use my phone app and the computer setup to keep track of my daily points.  I did recognize early on that if it was not for the phone and computer calculating all my food intake, that I would not be happy doing this program.  But I was seeing just how easy it was to log in food and pre-determine how many points my food was worth.  I was making sacrifices and telling myself that this is not a "diet".. instead I am learning how to eat right!

So its been exactly 2 weeks now since we started and I have learned 1 thing:  I can still suprise myself!  Within these first couple weeks, I have been eating more food than I had previously but I now am incorporating fruits and veggies into my daily routine.  I am eating 5-7 times per day.. No I'm not eating meals, I'm eating my breakfast lunch and dinner as well as snacks every couple hours inbetween..  Whether it be a cheese stick, a WW low-point snack, fruit or veggies.. i'm flippin eating a lot of food!  Some days I felt like the biggest little piggy. 

At my week 1 weigh in, I had dropped 6.2 lbs!!  YeaHaw
Tonight is weigh in #2 and I am anxious and nervous.. I've been doing great with my points intake and am hopeful for another great week.

Why am I suprised?  Well, because I am in this...  I am 100% on board..  I am not craving crap food (except sometimes I do want to just eat some potato chips)..  I am shopping in the outside isles at the grocery store, so sticking with fresh whole foods, not boxed crap.  I'm learning to allow my stomach to tell me when its time to eat and not my brain!  I have some WW snacks (yummy delicious ones even) at my desk at work, and I hardly ever eat them and they are low points.  Before, my brain would tell me to eat them.. just because they are there, and dont stop eating them til they are gone.  So I'm learning healthy self-control!  I'm learning to enjoy the sacrifices I am making.. less cheese, low-fat foods, less un-healthy snacking, using healthier dressings..  and I'm doing great with it all, mentally!

I think I have also realized that part of my problem before was that I felt guilty EVERY time I ate ANYTHING!  It didnt matter if it was salad or an apple or a candy bar or chips or chicken.. I just felt like shit (in my head) no matter what I ate, because I felt I should not be eating anything, I should just have the mental ability to starve this weight off.  Now, I have a realistic points system that I can live within and I have YET to feel ANY guilt for anything I eat..  I can eat all the fruits and veggies I want, they are zero points.. so I eat them as the fillers in my day when I feel hungry.  Somehow my brain has been tricked and its working!

I owe a HUGE Thank You to my friend Rachel and I tell her often, as I wouldnt be able to do this w/o her!  Although I am now already completely comfortable going to the meetings and have no anxiety about doing so, we text almost daily and she really is the best support system I could ask for. 

I am proud of myself for sticking with this and actually "wanting" to do it..  I need to learn to eat healthy, period!  I have a long ways to go and a lot to learn about what to cook and how to eat etc but I am starting to feel like maybe, just maybe I can do this. 

Great Weekend Recap!!

For over a year now, I've been wanting a bigger trailer.. heck its probably been atleast 2 yrs..  but it never seemed within reach.. I dont just have thousands of dollars laying around to go buy one and I certainly couldnt take the risk of selling my trailer and then "hoping" to find another rather quickly.  We had contemplated buying brand new, putting down a large downpayment and making payments, but when we lost Oakley, there went that down payment, now its needed to buy a new horse.  And its just not easy finding decent used trailers in the price range we wanted, everything was rust buckets & aweful!

So in the midst of shopping for a horse, I occassionally was also looking for a deal on a decent 3-horse trailer on CL..  What do you know.. I found one!!  From the pictures posted, it looked like a very nice clean trailer with everything we wanted.. roof rack, solid back door, 3 stalls, same stall dimensions as ours to fit our big boys and a fully enclosed tack room.. but it had some bonuses..  an extra long tongue (no more extended hitch for hauling with the camper), padded dividers, solid divider between the heads, hay bags and it even came with a brush caddy with brushes, a helmet and a nice leather hole punch!!  When I initially called, someone else was going to look at it but alas, they did not buy it and we jumped all over that..  drove down to Bonney Lake on Saturday with cash in hand, loved everything about it, and drove it home!  Especially loved the price, we got a GREAT GREAT deal on this trailer, even after the new tires we just put on it, we still are into it about $1,000 less than we both feel it is worth.  It is older, its a 1997 Circle J, but it has been very well cared for with minimal rust.  I just cant believe it.. I look at it every day and smile because it is something we have wanted and needed for a long time!!

Now we (okay Derek) will do some paint work to our original trailer and hopefully sell it sooner than later so we can recoop most of that money..  Thank Goodness for Income Tax Return Cash!!!  :)  Oh and thanks to an owner that didnt realize what she had..   It helped make this all possible..

Sunday, we were supposed to go look at a horse, but.....

Well we didnt even make it up to see horse #2 before we were "educated" on the truth about that horse.

I was fairly excited about this mare, she had the trail experience we were looking for and in general, sounded like a nice horse.  She was up in Sedro Wooley, and we were set to go up on Sunday this past weekend.  Saturday night we went to some friends house for a BBQ and got to talkin with them..  they seem to know a lot of people, so I asked them if they happened to know the owner of this horse and/or the horse!  Sure enough, they are personal friends with the guy, have camped with him, ridden with this horse and heard the stories about her..  Apparently it seems to be a running joke how much "mare magic" they give this horse before every ride and around camp, the guy complains all the time about her bucking problems!  Well, I'll be darned......  I do recall asking if she had any bucking issues, and somehow the answer to me was NO!   So I emailed the guy and politely told him we didnt feel she was the right horse for us.  I probably should have told him off for lying to me, he doesnt realize what a small world/horse community this really is.. but I also didnt want to throw my friends under the bus either.. so I let it go.  Cant help Stupid!