Thursday, March 28, 2013

Where's my punching bag.

Tonight is one of those evenings where I dont know what to say, how to feel, what to do..  I want to scream, but that seems drastic, I want to cry, but that seems irrational, I want to sleep but how's that going to help..  I'm struggling to think clearly right now so I just need to get off to bed and hope I wake up feeling a bit more refreshed.

What's all the frustration and fuss about.. well I spoke too soon and Willie is still limping!  :(  I am so angry and incredibly frustrated that I can hardly function or even think straight.  I think the only logical option is to get him in to a vet, I just had really hoped to escape the $300-$500 bill that will surely accompany my vet visit.  But I just dont see any other options, this has been going on now for 3 months and although the pads have helped, they have not fixed the underlying issue, clearly..

So give me a day to "freak the F**" out because I'm close to panicking at this point and again back to thinking worst case scenario.  My irrational brain right now is telling me to ditch the horse, hold off on buying another, give us a year off w/o horses and come back to it in a year with lighter bodies and clearer brains...  I'm not seeing any of that as a downfall at this point, which tells me I really need to get to bed cuz I'm not thinking straight..

No comments: