WW

My good friend Rachel had started to bring up 2 words that I didnt want to hear..  Weight Watchers!  She had tried it in the past and felt she needed to start up again, really wanting me to do it with her.  Well its quite obvious its a much needed path for me at this point, but I wasnt really feeling it...  But I agreed!  Damn Peer Pressure.

When we walked into that first meeting, my heart was pounding, my nerves were awake, my blood was anxious..  By the end of the meeting, I was skeptical.  But I paid my dues and jumped in with 2 feet, I knew there was no getting out of it at this point, not with Rachel as my WW's Buddy!  Took me a few days to get settled into the new routine, learning how to use my phone app and the computer setup to keep track of my daily points.  I did recognize early on that if it was not for the phone and computer calculating all my food intake, that I would not be happy doing this program.  But I was seeing just how easy it was to log in food and pre-determine how many points my food was worth.  I was making sacrifices and telling myself that this is not a "diet".. instead I am learning how to eat right!

So its been exactly 2 weeks now since we started and I have learned 1 thing:  I can still suprise myself!  Within these first couple weeks, I have been eating more food than I had previously but I now am incorporating fruits and veggies into my daily routine.  I am eating 5-7 times per day.. No I'm not eating meals, I'm eating my breakfast lunch and dinner as well as snacks every couple hours inbetween..  Whether it be a cheese stick, a WW low-point snack, fruit or veggies.. i'm flippin eating a lot of food!  Some days I felt like the biggest little piggy. 

At my week 1 weigh in, I had dropped 6.2 lbs!!  YeaHaw
Tonight is weigh in #2 and I am anxious and nervous.. I've been doing great with my points intake and am hopeful for another great week.

Why am I suprised?  Well, because I am in this...  I am 100% on board..  I am not craving crap food (except sometimes I do want to just eat some potato chips)..  I am shopping in the outside isles at the grocery store, so sticking with fresh whole foods, not boxed crap.  I'm learning to allow my stomach to tell me when its time to eat and not my brain!  I have some WW snacks (yummy delicious ones even) at my desk at work, and I hardly ever eat them and they are low points.  Before, my brain would tell me to eat them.. just because they are there, and dont stop eating them til they are gone.  So I'm learning healthy self-control!  I'm learning to enjoy the sacrifices I am making.. less cheese, low-fat foods, less un-healthy snacking, using healthier dressings..  and I'm doing great with it all, mentally!

I think I have also realized that part of my problem before was that I felt guilty EVERY time I ate ANYTHING!  It didnt matter if it was salad or an apple or a candy bar or chips or chicken.. I just felt like shit (in my head) no matter what I ate, because I felt I should not be eating anything, I should just have the mental ability to starve this weight off.  Now, I have a realistic points system that I can live within and I have YET to feel ANY guilt for anything I eat..  I can eat all the fruits and veggies I want, they are zero points.. so I eat them as the fillers in my day when I feel hungry.  Somehow my brain has been tricked and its working!

I owe a HUGE Thank You to my friend Rachel and I tell her often, as I wouldnt be able to do this w/o her!  Although I am now already completely comfortable going to the meetings and have no anxiety about doing so, we text almost daily and she really is the best support system I could ask for. 

I am proud of myself for sticking with this and actually "wanting" to do it..  I need to learn to eat healthy, period!  I have a long ways to go and a lot to learn about what to cook and how to eat etc but I am starting to feel like maybe, just maybe I can do this.