I need help finding the light of the day

I was already having a somewhat frustrating day, we are planning to go camping soon and there are no sites at the campgrounds our friends had in mind, so we found another campground but it was not in the same town, still on the ocean though. It is Samantha's Bday weekend and she wants to go to Westport and nowhere else, so George & Rachel found camping at an RV resort outside of town which is OK. There are a few trees, but unfortunately they have no winter camping spots for us non-hookup folks, so we'll be in the more expensive sites. Which isnt a terrible thing I guess, if we use the hookups we can plug in a heater because it will be wet and cold this weekend.. :) a sliver of light in my cloud today. I still think the other campground would be better because we can walk to the beach vs driving and the sites are more private like camping, not just a skidrow of trailers, but this is what they want, so we'll deal with it and I'm sure it will all work out..

But I was feeling bummed about the whole thing and then my mom calls and says my gramma is not doing well and going downhill rather quickly. Her Alzheimer's is taking over more and more and they are calling in hospice now. So my eyes teared up and I asked my mom if she would go with me to see gramma tomorrow after work, I was crying as I asked this not able to really speak. I was just overcome with sadness, I know this day has been coming for a while with her disease but it is now hitting home as becoming more real. I miss my gramma, I have not seen her in a long time. FAR too long, but going to see her is something I am not at all comfortable with. She doesnt know me and I dont know what to say to her, so I dont go. But I dont want to miss an opportunity to see her one last time, so I need to go the sooner the better. I know I will cry uncontrollably when she does pass on, I can feel it.

Gramma O was a great inspiration to me, she is someone I admired and looked up to. She provided me with opportunities over the years to spend time with her and learn about what is really important in life. She taught me to enjoy the basic things in life and how to cherish the great outdoors from the back of a horse. Gramma Ollie is a beautiful lady who has the softest skin around and I will forever cherish her in my life. I know she is not gone yet, but I feel better having said this.